How Do I Help My Friend with Depression?
How Do I Help My Friend with Depression?
It’s not easy to see the people we care about struggling - especially when it’s unsaid from them but seen as clear as day to us.
When we notice the people we care about seeming unlike themselves or in a seemingly dark space, we may worry that what we say will push them away or affect our friendship. Maybe it feels like the little openings we have right now are worth preserving instead of risking being pushed away after a more direct approach. That level of consideration shows how much we want to support them and how acrobatic it can feel.
Depression is common and it shows in different ways. One of the greatest opportunities for someone with depression is having a support system.
Here are a few ways you can help a friend with depression:
Open Up First: Share a time that you felt unlike yourself or a part of your life you’re struggling with right now. This demonstrates your willingness to have deeper conversations and has two benefits: it helps you experience what you’re asking of your friend and it helps your friend know they can have those struggle conversations with you.
Manage Expectations: We may feel like we are one well-crafted conversation away from them opening up about their pain and starting their healing journey but you have to start with one small seed before you can expect a harvest. Your first conversation may end with only you sharing your struggle but that does not reflect the magnitude of that act. Just as you prepared for the conversation, your friend may want some time to sit with their feelings before expressing it, too.
Build in Opportunities to Improve Mental Health Together: There are proven findings of everyday activities that can improve our mental health including getting exercise, eating nutritious food, spending time outdoors, connecting with others, and having moments of reflection. Consider expanding the activities you do together that may include one of these activities. You can invite them to play a friendly game of basketball, go to a cooking class, or even head for a bike ride or walk along a nearby nature trail. These activities will have a positive impact on your friend’s mental health and can also serve as more comfortable environments to talk about difficult subjects.
Keep in Contact: Oftentimes, we have one-off conversations that are rich and deep and assume the other person will initiate this level of depth on their own if needed in the future. A key ingredient to supporting one another is checking back in. Follow up with them, let them know when something reminds you of them, and ensure they know you’re not going anywhere.
If You’re Worried About Their Safety, Reach Out for Support. There’s a wide range of severity when it comes to depression. If you are worried about your friend’s safety, contact 988. There are phone call and text options to connect with a mental health professional for further guidance on your friend’s specific situation. These conversations save lives.
Social connection is one of the foundations of having strong mental health so know your role is a valued one. To learn more about how to talk to a friend about their mental health, click here.
For more information on 988 services, click here.
